2/1/2012 Bernie & Red Come to Mission Bell

Soon after we arrived here, back in October, we learned that the comedy team of Bernie & Red were going to be here. We had seen them twice before in Quail Run and enjoyed their shows immensely. We couldn’t wait to see them again.

We told all of our friends, “You can’t miss this show, they are so funny!”

The day finally arrived for them to entertain us once again. We had heard buses were bringing in people from other parks so we knew we wanted to get there early. From previous shows I knew we wanted to get up front because you just don’t want to miss facial expressions on Red when she starts imitating the animals. (Oh what a riot!) So we got there early. Let me clarify that, Me, Toni, Bunky and Chip got there early. Like at five o’clock early for a seven o’clock show. Bob and Eddie said they would get there closer to seven.

When we first arrived we were told that we couldn’t go in until 5:30. I had looked in the room and saw someone moving chairs so as to add two chairs to each row in the center section. I called out and asked if they needed help not knowing who it was that was moving the chairs. She yelled back that no, she had just finished up but thanks anyway. I had taken notice of Bernie on the stage setting up and went to say hello since we had talked on the phone several times and met in Quail Run when I was the Activities Director. I walked to the stage and said, “Hi Bernie, I don’t expect you’ll remember me but I’ve met you before, my name is Snookie.” He smiled and said, “Ah, Snookie, I do remember you.” and with that I heard from behind me, “I remember Snookie.” Lo and behold the person moving chairs was Red! She said, “I don’t remember where from but I remember your name and you look familiar.” On stage, Bernie held hand to forehead and said, “Let me think, we met you in….in…..QUAIL RUN!” I don’t think it was a matter of meeting me was so memorable but that Bernie has a great memory for names and places and let’s face it, how many Snookie’s do you meet? We chatted for a bit and I left them to finish setting up the stage for their show.

A little before 5:30 we were told we could go in and lay down whatever we had to lay claim to the seats we wanted. Toni and I hurried through the doors because we knew where we wanted to be. Another lady was also early and she too made a beeline for the room. Toni and I walked faster and got to the front row and cordoned off six seats with jackets, a book and sweater. Evidently the lady wanted the seats we had chosen and said something like, “Well, it looks like you walked faster than me.” Toni and I smiled and agreed with her. Little did I know that before the night was over I was going to have a very strong dislike for this lady.

Someone else had come in and laid cushions on four more seats at the other end of the row. Red came over to me and said that since she added two more seats that if we would move down one it would leave two seats at the end rather than one seat at the end and one in the middle. No problem, made sense to have two seats together for another couple to come in. I moved the “slow lady’s” cushions down and started with ours when I realized that the foursome at the end had already made the move and it was taken care of. Again, no problem, I’ll move it back, including the ones belonging to the “slow lady”. Well, just as I was moving hers back to the original space, her and her two gentleman escorts showed up and she demanded to know why I was moving her cushions. I started to explain about the two single seats and I moved them not knowing the foursome at the end had already taken care of it and that I was moving everything back the way it was. I never got the whole explanation out because she just went off on me. All over me with who did I think I was moving her cushions. Again I tried to explain but she wasn’t hearing me. She kept going on and on and on and on about I had no business even touching her cushions and who did I think I was and I reached the point where I had enough of her running her mouth. One of her companions looked at me and gave me a look as if to say, “Pay her no mind”. Well, that wasn’t going to happen! Still listening to her rant I said rather loudly, “Look lady, your cushions are in the same place where you left them. I’m sorry I moved them, now GET OVER IT! She came right back at me, “No, you shouldn’t have touched them in the first place, you had no right to move my cushions.” To myself I’m thinking, “If I ever get like this, please, somebody, just shoot me.” Miserable old biddy fit this woman to a T!

We still had an hour and a half to sit there until show time so the four of us talked and I read for awhile. Wouldn’t you know the lady a few seats down had a friend come in with her cushions and she told her that she was going to lay them on the seats behind us and to make sure that no one took their seats while she was gone. Of course the lady replied, “Well, I’ll try, I didn’t have too much luck saving my own seats. You know people just move your cushions whenever they want to.” I just lost it. I’m at the point now I just want to stuff a sock in her mouth. I leaned forward to look around her companion sitting next to me and said in a stern tone of voice, “Lady, just leave it alone, just get over it. It’s done.” She looked at me and sniffed. The woman sniffed at me. Now I want to stuff a sock in her mouth and hold her nose shut!

Toni, meanwhile is trying hard not to laugh out loud and calm me down at the same time.

Time passed rather quickly with people we know coming in and talking with them and watching Bernie put the finishing touches on the stage.

I think the flower arrangements came off the float from the Texas Citrus Festival that Mission Bell / Trade Winds entered.

Chip, Bunky and Toni, munching popcorn, waiting for the show.

Bernie tuning his guitar.

Married for forty six years, Bernie & Red, originally from Britain, now live in Canada. In the months of January, February and March, they live in their forty foot motorhome and travel southwest entertaining Winter Texan’s, Arizona’s Winter Residents and California’s Snowbirds. Earlier in their career they worked the cruise line circuit.

Seven had come and Bernie introduced his lady in red.

The first act is mainly them singing and telling funny stories. There is a theme and this show had songs from the era of Red’s costume. There was audience participation when we were asked to sing along to the songs all of us knew and then were the songs that they made up, Bernie had some funny stories and jokes for us and of course no one can miss the fact Bernie can be telling a story and Red is just talking right over him. Its quite the routine they have and they don’t miss a beat.

There is one segment of the show when Bernie gets quite serious about the Italian operatic aria that he sings. Quite serious for us too until we realize what he’s singing. Word after word in this operatic aria all completely Italian. Like pepperoni, linguini, Phil Esposito, Chef Boyardee, Anna Maria Alberghetti…..all sung, this whole string of Italian words. It was really done quite well and was very amusing. Of course he ends his Italian operatic aria with a flourish!

Red does seem to be her color doesn’t it?

The second act brought lots of laughs as they talked more about their RV adventures and mishaps. Things we could all certainly relate to.

Red has a costume change into slacks and top with jacket.

They have this one segment where Bernie tells a story and she acts out the animals in the story through actions and sound effects. She had us practically rolling in the aisles.

We are so glad we got to see them again and are hoping this isn’t the last time.