5/30–5/31/2013 Plan A Change 97

(Tucson, AZ)

I’ve never heard of anyone’s plans changing as much as ours do.  The plan was to stay here until Friday morning.  Scrap that.

As a rule we don’t like to travel on weekends so we decided to stay put until Monday.  This will also give us a chance to get our 5th wheel washed and waxed.  We made an appointment for Saturday morning.

I had kind of a reality check on Thursday.  When I call home to Delaware my mom, 90% of the time, will answer the phone when I call.  If she’s at the store, working in her flower gardens, at church or wherever then my dad would answer.  Those times that he did and she wasn’t home or available would be our time to talk.  We’d talk about what we’re doing, where we are or where we’re going, what we’ve seen, what books he’s reading, how our Phillies or Eagles are doing, the latest news about the National Guard, everything and anything.  We’d usually talk about half hour each time and averaged twice a week with shorter conversations when he did answer but mom was there.  He always said, “Love ya babe” as we were hanging up.  Stay with me here, there’s a reason I’m telling you this.  I called home Thursday morning.  Mom wasn’t home.  The phone rang and rang and rang.  Finally the answering machine picked up.  And it hit me.  My dad isn’t there to take my calls anymore.  There won’t be anymore conversations about our Eagles or Phillies or telling him of things we’ve done or where we’re going.  I’ll never hear my dad tell me “Love ya babe” again.  I sat here for a few minutes processing all this and then the floodgates opened.  That sobbing, gut wrenching, headache inducing  cry came.  And it lasted all day.  Now, I didn’t sob all day of course but it didn’t take much for tears to fill my eyes and that lump to form in my throat as memories floated in and out all day.  I miss my dad so much.  I just keep telling myself something that an online friend wrote me shortly after my dad passed on.  My friend wrote, “remember the great things about your Dad and know that he will still be taking care of you”.  I go back and read the entire email at least once a week.  Isn’t it strange how something from someone you only know online can give such comfort?

Our buddy Fred is going to be pulling out this weekend.  We wish we were following right behind him but it won’t be long now.  Monday morning can’t get here fast enough!