12/16/2009 The Last Three Days and This & That

The last three days have been absolutely beautiful here in the desert. You just want to be outside in the afternoons. The sun warms your skin, which means arms and legs because we’re in shorts and T’s here. Doesn’t that just make you sick? Especially if you are somewhere where the temps are below zero or in the soggy east.

Bob really hasn’t been up to too much because the lights are done. Really, honest. they’re done. He’s says he’s going to put more up but honestly, I don’t know where’d they go.

I’ve been doing my usual routine with the Diva’s and even playing Mexican Train in the evening.

We’re talking about some day trips in the near future so we have that to look forward to.

Sorry readers, I’ve hit a dry spell here for a few days. It will pick up very soon I’m sure.

I’ve decided to share some things with you from my email.

Because I care about you, I’ve added the following to that you can take proper care of your neck muscles. Thanks, Maryann!

I want you all to know that I am so thankful for good quality denim. Yes, I’m thankful for blue jean material. Its sheer strength amazes me! I will be eternally thankful if this material holds until she reaches her car before it explodes. You can only look at this and say, “What the hell?” Yes readers, this is from the People of Walmart site.

In case you didn’t get the email going around with the picture of the “redneck Santa sleigh” I’ll post it here for you. I don’t care who you are, you have to laugh at this!

Have you raised teenagers? Are you raising teenagers now? Are the teenage years still down the road a bit for you? No matter, I’m sure you’ll enjoy this all the same.

My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D ...
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C..S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. '

I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch..
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C .S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'

Names in the News: Tiger Woods. I am so disappointed in him. Aren’t you? I’ll tell you, he was the LAST one I expected this behavior out of. All the same, the jokes are funny!

Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said, “I don’t know exactly but put me down for a five.”

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

Ping just offered Tiger's wife an endorsement contract pushing her own set of clubs. They are said to be named Elin Woods: "Clubs You Can Beat Tiger With."

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 350 yards.

Why did Tiger's wife use a 3-wood to bust the window? She didn't like the driver.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah

Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Heck who amongst us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!!

Ok, that’s it…hopefully, I’ll have something to share with you soon.