8/13/2012 Darn Those Cops in Their Unmarked Cars

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

I WANT TO GIVE FAIR WARNING THAT THERE IS SOME ADULT LANGUAGE IN THIS POST. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED THEN PLEASE SKIP THIS POST.

I was up before the alarm went off this morning going through a mental checklist of what I had to take to Wilmington with me in addition to my overnight bag. I had to pack the truck in hopes that in doing so that I wouldn’t wake Bob. I knew that was next to impossible but I at least wanted to try.

I’m making the trip to Wilmington solo and Bob is going to stay at the beach. He decided this last night. There are several reasons for this, the first and foremost is that the fish are biting! Secondary to that is that there really isn’t much for him to do at my parent’s house. There is no remote control for him to hold because my dad has it firmly clasped in his own hand which means you watch what Dad wants to watch.

I have plans with my BFF Cindy and of course my mom and I will spend hours playing Hand and Foot and talking the hours away and getting some shopping in.

The plan was for me to drop our truck off to have some preventative maintenance done on Monday, spend time with the parents and get some visiting done and then return to the beach on Wednesday.

So I get everything I need to take north and I hit the road just minutes after 6:30 a.m..

Now let me give you some background here. Heading north, I go through three beach towns. Dewey, Rehoboth and Lewes. For people who have beach houses here, or live here year round, it would not be unheard of for people who are still employed to be on the road at this time of the morning and heading north, like to Dover which is about an hour north or to Smyrna which would add another half hour…or even further north.

I make it through Dewey and Rehoboth Beaches with no problem. Just north of Lewes, where the area is more rural, I take notice that radar is set up and saw one woman pulled over getting a ticket. I took notice that she was standing outside of her car and that she was dressed in a pretty blue dress and pumps. Yep, going to work. I keep a watchful eye on the speedometer.

Fifteen minutes later I see a fellow pulled over and take notice that he had a dress shirt on so I will assume that he too was heading to work. I watch the speedometer really close now.

At one point the cars in the right hand lane seem to be driving at a snail’s pace. A constant 51 miles per hour in a 55 mph zone. I put my left blinker on and change lanes. I take the truck up to 59 mph and hang there. I’ve always heard that four is the magic number and if clocked at going just four miles over the speed limit you won’t be stopped but if you hit that magic number five over, you’ll get nailed for sure. There’s no one behind me so I stay put. In the meantime, the first vehicle in the line of slow cars in the right hand lane catches up to me and stays about one half car length behind me in the right lane.

When I was being taught to drive it was stressed that you should look frequently at your mirrors which I have always made a habit of doing. Everything was going fine and when I checked my rearview mirror I was extremely surprised to see a car that is so close to my back bumper that I seriously doubt that a piece of paper could have been slipped between mine and his. Close enough that I couldn’t see his lights. That close! Where did he and two cars behind him come from? They had to be driving like bats outta hell to catch up to me and they came quickly because not too much time had passed since the last time I looked at my mirrors.

I put my blinker on to change lanes back to the right lane and the maroon SUV was still a half car length behind me. I couldn’t see his two front headlights in my mirror which would insure a safe lane change. I kept looking in my side view mirror in hopes that he would either speed up or drop back so that I could move over. I pressed the accelerator a bit more taking me up to 62 and the SUV was still too close for me to change lanes. I was ever conscious in knowing that radar cars were set up in various locations. Was it National Radar Day or what?

Finally, the SUV takes notice of my blinker and drops back. I was finally able to see his headlights in the side view mirror so I changed lanes.

I could not believe that car followed me so closely because he certainly couldn’t see around me or over me because the truck is so big. I was so mad that he put us in that unsafe position. How mad was I??? Mad enough to quickly roll down my window and flip him off as he passed by me. To give him the Hawaiian peace sign. To let him know with that ever popular hand gesture that he was # 1! As he got even with my truck I also yelled…Asshole! Yeah, I told him!

With that he got in front of my truck and went all the way to the shoulder. After I passed him he got back in the lane behind me and turned those damn lights on! Oh no! An unmarked police car!

I’m going to tell you our conversation verbatim. The police officer’s part will be in red print. Mine in black and my thoughts in blue. Capital letters will indicate YELLING and you will see lots of CAPS!

I pulled over and was determined to give him a piece of my mind. He came up to the truck and yelled at me. Yes, you read that right, he YELLED at me so I YELLED right back. Our conversation went like this.

Him: I’M DETECTIVE _______ I SAW THAT YOU FLIPPED ME OFF AND I ALSO KNOW WHAT YOU CALLED ME!

Me: WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON MY BUTT LIKE THAT? (Is he trying to intimidate me by yelling? If so, this dog is barking up the wrong tree!)

Him: DON’T YOU YELL AT ME!

Me: WHY WERE YOU TAILGAITING ME LIKE THAT?

Him: WHY DID’T YOU CHANGE LANES?

Me: I COULDN’T CHANGE LANES, DIDN’T YOU SEE THAT MAROON SUV IN THE OTHER LANE?

Him: I TOLD YOU DON’T YELL AT ME! WHY DIDN’T YOU CHANGE LANES?

Me: I COULDN’T GET OVER! WHY WERE YOU ON MY ASS LIKE THAT?

Him: DON’T YOU YELL AT ME! (Pal, you are lucky I don’t just smack you at this point!)

Him: THIS IS GOING TO COST YOU $500.00 IN FINES! (Hmmm,,,not buying that, you said you were a detective when you gave me your name, detectives don’t carry traffic ticket books. Nice try chump but your lame attempt to scare me isn’t going to work)

Me: FOR WHAT? (He was trying his darnedest to intimidate me and I wasn’t falling for that!)

Him: FOR CALLING ME THAT NAME AND FLIPPING ME OFF!

Me: I HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND I CAN CALL YOU ANYTHING I LIKE AND YOU DRIVE LIKE SUCH A JERK YOU DESERVE THE FINGER! (I think it made him mad that I was standing my ground)

(He stopped yelling at this point)

Him: Let me see your driver’s license and registration.

I handed him my driver’s license and he says, You live in Texas? I told him no, that I didn’t live in Texas. He asked how I can have a Texas driver’s license if I didn’t live there. I had to explain full time RV’ing to him but it took him a few minutes to grasp the concept that we live wherever we happen to be parked.

Of course the first insurance card I handed him was expired. (Note to Bob: please clean that envelope out)

By this time we have both calmed down a bit.

Him: I’m not going to give you a ticket,but you can’t call people asshole’s anymore or flip anybody off. Look, if you do that again somebody may just shoot you. It’s road rage. Besides, you are just a few years older than me and isn’t the behavior of a teenager?” I knew there wasn’t going to be a ticket as soon as he said Detective. Yes, perhaps it was the behavior of a teenager, however, I have no control over my middle finger. It just seems to jump up all by itself and asking me not to call stupid driver’s assholes, well the chance of that happening is as good as me actually weighing what my driver’s license says I do.

Me: “But do you understand why I couldn’t change lanes? Radar is out, the SUV wasn’t moving and I was pretty much stuck there. That I wouldn’t take the chance of a speeding ticket by radar?

He agreed that he saw the SUV and understands where I’m coming from.

We were finally talking civilly to each other and I offered my hand to shake his and he accepted it. He told me to be safe and I him to quit tailgating. He laughed.

Whew.

I made it the rest of way without incident and Cindy met me at the service center and I dropped the truck off. We’re getting an oil change, having the brakes checked and having the transmission serviced. In a few hours we’ll be several hundred dollars poorer.

From there we went to Boscov’s. I saw the sales ad and thought it would be good to check it out. It was very good! I got a hundred dollar ($99.00) bathing suit for 75% off and then took 15% more off that because Boscov’s gives military discount. I ended up paying twenty two and small change for it. I also got a $42 summer top for 50% off and then the 15% off that again. I ended getting that for about $18.

Once at my parent’s they asked me if I wanted to go to Boscov’s, of all places, with them. I explained I had already gone. So off they went and I made some phone calls and read some.

Dad made shrimp for dinner. He makes the best shrimp! I stood next to him to watch how much of everything he puts in and I think I can do it. He always cooks celery and onion first in the water with beer, vinegar, kosher salt, pepper and Old Bay seasoning. When they are done they are spooned out and we eat that while the shrimp are cooking. Hmmm, Hmmm, good!

Mom and I spent the evening playing cards of course.

What a day this has been!