Tuesday, May 27, 2014

5/27/2014 A Too Quiet Tuesday

(Damascus, VA)

The kids are gone, everything is washed, put away, the outside is all cleaned up and back in order.  And I hate it.  It’s too quiet.

We don’t hear that sweet little voice. We don’t hear, “Pop-Pop take me on the golf cart with you”.  We don’t hear, “Grandmom, look at this bubble I caught, take a picture of it!”  It’s too quiet.

I miss that soft tap on my arm and that sweet little voice saying, “Will you make me some more chocolate milk?”  She could have asked me for anything in the cupboard or fridge and I would have gotten or made it for her.  Yes, it’s too quiet here.

I managed to make dinner without that little voice asking, “Grandmom, what’s my job?  What can I do?”  It didn’t make a difference in what I would have made, my heart wasn’t in it, it tasted like cardboard.  I missed my helper.

Everything reminds me of Jasmine.  I threw away an empty shampoo bottle and my thoughts immediately went to the time after her shower when I combed her hair for her, trying so hard not to pull her hair as I combed the knots out.

Everything reminds me of Jasmine.  A freshly laundered blanket draped over the back of the chair across from me sent my thoughts to the campfire over the weekend.  Wrapped in the blanket  because the night was cool, she snuggled on my lap.  Her soft hair against my cheek.  I sit here and smile at the memory.

I’m still in awe of her fascination with bugs.  I so don’t do bugs but if she asked me to let a tarantula crawl up my arm I would.  Oh wait, forget that!  That ain’t happening, not even for Jasmine.  Whoa, I got carried away there didn’t I?

My one regret is that I didn’t make the time to read her new book to her.  I so hope she’s like her big brother and has the love for books and reading.  I’ll make sure I have another book for her for the next time I see her.

Yes, everything reminds me of Jasmine.

Next time she’s here I want her to stay one night with us in the fifth wheel.  I want to lay in bed and tell her bedtime stories about her daddy when he was a little boy, the stories that only I can tell.  And we’ll laugh and we’ll giggle.

My heart is so captivated by this five year old.  I heard my mom say one time, these kids (her great grandkids) could ask me to do anything and I would for them.  I didn’t understand that at the time.  I get it now.  I really get it.  I would move heaven and earth for her, I would give her anything she needed if I could.  I’d give her half  of what she wanted, I don’t want to totally spoil her.  Oh what the hell, who am I kidding, I’d give her anything she wanted.

I just this minute realized!  She’s got me wrapped me around her little finger!  Oh well, I can’t think of a place I’d rather be.  Besides, I’m in good company, her Pop-Pop is there and so is her daddy.

Yep, way too quiet around here.


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