2/11/2010 Oh Say, CAN YOU SEE????

It was time again. Time for a haircut. I hate this. I want my hairdresser from back home to follow us wherever we go so that when its time for a haircut I know what I’m going to get. I had been going to the shop that is situated within the walls of Walmart because I found someone there who did an OK job and I was at least 90% satisfied when I walked out. She was off today. Just my luck!

Now being the Queen of Cheap that I am I had been carrying a coupon around for a well known, nationwide, chain salon that would give me a haircut for $7.99. Now I liked that part but I kept remembering that commercial on TV about the big chain salon that only charges six bucks for a haircut moving in across the street from the one chair barbershop. The barber goes to his office supply store for big banner that reads, “We fix $6.00 haircuts.” I truly wish that commercial had never been made.

I’m past due for a haircut and since I was in town I decided that today had to be the day. It also helped that the salon was in the same shopping plaza as the grocery store I was going to.

So I walk into the shop for the first time ever and am impressed with the decor. Well, as much as one can be impressed with a chain salon’s decor. It was bright and colorful and had a unique way of separating the work stations by using sails. And it was clean.

An attractive lady, probably in her early 60’s greeted me as she gave an older gentleman a haircut in the first station. As soon as she finished she came to the front and took my name and address and phone number. All this info for an eight buck haircut? She then proceeded to call one of the gentleman from the waiting area.

Next came a very pretty lady in her 40’s up to the desk to check out her customer. I was really hoping she was going to call my name because I loved her haircut! Well, she didn’t, she called the other gentleman who was waiting.

I waited and passed the time reading the Christmas week edition of Newsweek or US News, whatever it was. When they make me the boss of the world I’m going to make it a law that every waiting room in every kind of waiting area across the land have the latest editions of People, Good Housekeeping and “O” available.

There was no else in the waiting area so I was glad that my wait wasn’t going to be long, after all, I had grocery shopping to do.

So here I am skimming this magazine and I hear two voices, one belonging to a, there’s no other way to put this, a little old blue haired lady. I looked at her and smiled thinking she would make the perfect cover girl for Grandmother’s Monthly if there was such a magazine and then my gazed traveled to her hairdresser, the one who was going to do my hair.

Oh. My. God. The soft jazz music playing in the background suddenly sounded like violin strings being strummed by a 2x4 at full volume. The colorful walls seemed to pulsate, in, out, in, out, colors running together and then I heard it. “Mrs. Quinn, you’re next.” A shiver ran down my spine. I thought about running out the door but I couldn’t move. I literally couldn’t move. I couldn’t stop staring at her. It was like I was frozen, I wanted to run as quickly as I could but I couldn’t get out of the chair. She repeated her call to me, “Mrs. Quinn, you’re next.” Like I was under a spell I got up and followed her. I sat in her chair and watched her through the mirror as she wrapped that white paper around my neck and then fastened the cape. She must have asked me how I was or something but it didn’t register because I was so busy trying to take this all in. She put her hand on my shoulder and asked if I was alright. I shook off this feeling of…..of….oh, I don’t know, fear, amazement, total curiosity at this creature who was going to take scissors within inches of my head. It was like a nightmare come to life.

Her name is Caress only with a K. Karess. Who names their kid Caress with a K? I looked at her and much to my surprise the first thing out of my mouth to this young woman was, “Can you SEE?????? Her bangs completely covered her eyes. I could NOT see her eyes! She laughed and said, “Yeah, I can see.” She had shiny, jet black almost blue, hair. The top and sides were all spiky and her bangs were halfway down her nose. I couldn’t see her eyes but every once in awhile I could catch a glimpse a shiny piece of metal that pierced her eyebrow. And that was only one piercing. Her nose was pierced. Her upper lip was pierced. Her lower lip was pierced. My eyes moved downward and I started taking in the tattoos. Stars. Her left forearm is covered in stars. Solid stars, just the outline of stars, a star with a pattern in the center of it, there must be 14, 15 star tattoos, no two alike and then to top it off a whole paragraph tattooed to the inner side of her arm…..about stars. Moving to her right forearm there is a tattoo of a muffin, a penny and a razor blade dripping blood. Are you gettin’ the picture here people????

Well, she proceeded to start cutting my hair and I asked her again, “Are you sure you can see what you’re doing?” I truly had my doubts. Again, she assured me that all was well and that I shouldn’t worry because it is the salon’s policy that if I wasn’t happy with the cut I could have it done over for free. Now how comforting do you think THAT was?

When it was all said and done I didn’t know if I liked it or not. She didn’t style it the way I requested and at that point I just wanted to get out of the chair. I paid her and left.

I won’t know until tomorrow if I like it, not until I shampoo it and see what I can do with it. I do know its not too short and that’s a good thing.

Thank heavens I don’t have to go through this again for another six weeks!