I'm in pain. All the time. I walk with a pronounced limp. I eat Aleve, Tylenol, anything I can get my hands on like candy. I hate this!
Thursday I just wanted the day to get over with because Friday can't get here fast enough for me. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I can't wait. Wow, did I just say that? I am so not a doctor person! It is pure hell getting dressed in the morning because I can't bend over, I can't bring my left foot up to put a sock on and if I had a video of me trying to put on a pair of panties, well, I would win not only America's Funniest Home Videos but the World's Funniest Home Videos! You just wouldn't believe what I have to go through to accomplish that task!
Of course today was busy as all get out because we are having our Sadie Hawkins Dance tonight.
Everything was under control with the great workampers that work Activities so I left for my much awaited doctor's appointment. We didn't have to travel far as I went to a doctor that is in the medical complex in Casa Grande, just 10 miles away. Of course there was the tons of paperwork I had to fill out before I could see the doctor.
As usual the doctor was running late and I had to wait in the waiting room. Not a problem really, I hadn't read in a magazine in awhile and was looking forward to catching up with a Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, "O" or any other woman's magazine. A People or a US would have been nice. Wanna guess what my choice's were? How about Speedboats International? In the desert???? How about, Men's Health? or Ammo Monthly? Who reads this stuff? I couldn't even find a 6 month old Time or Newsweek!
My name was finally called and I limped back to another room where I ...you guessed it...waited some more. It wasn't much more than a little cubicle with a desk and an examining table but there were pictures galore. Personal family pictures which I thought I was a little odd. I did take note of the color on the walls which I thought was particularly pretty. A beautiful sage green color.
Not too long more and a young man walks in. I knew it wasn't the doctor because I had heard he was near retirement age and this fella was just starting his career. He introduced himself as he extended his hand to welcome me. I, in turn, extended my hand to him and said, "I'm pleased to meet you, I don't do needles, your magazine selection in the waiting room sucks and I really like this color on the walls". I took a breath and continued. "If I have to have medicine it needs to be in pill form, preferably, and if it has to be liquid then it must be cherry flavor or I won't take it. He just sat there and looked at me. All of sudden he just started laughing. He said, "Good, I like to know where I stand with my patients." I knew we would get along. Turns out he was the doctor's nurse practitioner.
He asked why I was there and when I finished telling him he looked at me with a straight face and said, "Well, Mrs. Quinn, you need a hip replacement". I was stunned! A hip replacement just wasn't in my line of thought here. I was not only stunned I was speechless! I must have looked like a deer caught in a headlight because suddenly he's pointing at me and laughing! He was getting me back! Whew!
He did go on to say that his diagnosis is a possibility but he thought it would be a good idea to get some x-rays before he gave a definite diagnosis. YA THINK???? Well, wouldn't you know they have a x-ray room right across the hall so it was very convenient. In just minutes pictures were taken of my hips but I was most fascinated when he put them up on the x-ray viewer that the zipper on my jeans showed up so well in the picture! Oh geez, it takes so little to amuse me some days.
Thankfully, my hip bones are in great shape! Both are the same, doesn't appear to be any abnormal bone loss and nothing looks out of the ordinary. OK, hip replacement is ruled out, what's wrong with me? He said he didn't have a concrete answer for me because as far as he was concerned everything looked good. He said I could have a strained muscle which wouldn't show up on an x-ray. I told him I didn't recall hurting myself and he said that I could have done it while laying in bed in the morning when I had that first stretch of the day. Well, yes, that's a real possibility because I do enjoy laying there and stretching before getting out of bed. OK, so what do I do now? I'm in a lot of pain, I'm not walking normally, its pure torture getting in and out of a car, I'm eating drugs like candy and I've had enough of this! He wrote me a prescription for pain medicine, pill form thank you very much, and another for 3 times a week physical therapy. When am I going to find time for that????
OK, back to the resort, I've got a show coming in tonight and I want to make sure everything is on track, although I knew it would be.
When I got there Ted, of Ted & Sue fame, was setting up a still. Yes, you read that right, a still.
I just didn't get this whole Sadie Hawkins thing. Ted had called me about a week and a half ago to tell me that he had seen bib jean shorts in a local store and I thanked him for the info and when we hung up thought to myself, "Why in the hell did he call to tell me that?" That info went right over my head! We were supposed to dress in our best hillbilly garb! I grew up in the suburbs, I don't know anything about hillbilly dances! Did I advertise it as "Come dressed in your best hillbilly garb?" NO! I'll know better next time!
So imagine our surprise when some of his friends arrived..... check out the attire of the lady in front of the couple in the doorway. That's how most of us dressed! No, that isn't quite right. The majority of us did have jeans on.
Of course, some of us got this whole Sadie Hawkins thing and dressed appropriately! I'll bet dollars to donuts that homely Sadie Hawkins wouldn't even wear THOSE socks!
Now here's someone who really got into this!
I'm not doing a whole lot of dancing as you can well imagine so I was sitting at the table and the next thing you know I see this red streak run by!
And then I saw why he was running....
That's a man with a shotgun chasing him!
I caught these pictures of our man Al learning how to do the Macarena! Oh how fun that was watching that!
If you recall the dance, you don't bend over,,,,Lynn is laughing so hard she can't help it!
Focus on the DANCE Al....the DANCE!
A break from dancing was in order and Ted led us in a game of called "So You Think You Have Balls!"
A large bucket was placed at one end and box of colored balls, the kind you would find in a McDonald's Playground where the kids play in the plastic balls was at other.
We lined up in two lines about a dozen in each line. The object of the game was for your team to get as many of the colored plastic balls in the bucket, placed about 20 feet away, as they could. Sounds easy doesn't it? And it would be if you could throw them, or toss them or just drop them in. Uh-uh. No hands allowed. The plastic ball, I should say the slippery plastic ball had to be placed between your thighs and you had to run down to the bucket and drop it in. If you dropped the ball, back to the end of the line you went to start over. Well, I didn't want to be left out of this, this looked like fun! Oh what a mistake it was! Walking with a plastic ball planted securely between your thighs makes you use muscles you didn't even know you had! It makes you use muscles that are already strained and killing you! I got down the line twice and was sidelined by choice, it just hurt too much! So I took pictures instead.
I have pictures that include faces but I just can't publish them here. It wouldn't be kind. The looks are ones of joy because this is just so darn fun to do and at the same time grimaces of pain because the thigh muscles are screaming at you. They aren't pretty and I wouldn't do that to my friends.(You can thank me later Janet.)
But I do have some where I cut the heads off!
This is just pure concentration!
The winning team won a pair of Golden Balls.
A little while later we had a "Husband Calling" contest. The women got up front and called their husbands and/or significant others. Or they just made up names because they aren't married. Some used very sexy voices and that particular S/O was on the run to her before we knew it! Another yelled his name like he was in the back 40 and she was calling him for dinner. Another used his first and middle names in a pretty stern voice and we knew he was in trouble! This was fun to listen to and by our applause the winner was picked. Marlena, single, calling to "Billy John" was our crowned winner.
It was a fun dance and I'm gonna pay dearly for it. Not only for the game but I slipped in a line dance too. Dumb Snookie! Really dumb!
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