3/3/08 The Motorcycle Ride from Hell

Today was much nicer than yesterday, the wind had died down, the sky was blue and all was right with my world.

And then.....

My buddy, George Reid, "Killer's" husband, asked me if I wanted to take that motorcycle ride he promised me way back when. I thought to myself, "hey, what could be better, I'll feel the "breeze" on my face and have it blow through my hair, oh yeah, I'm up for this!" Looking back on that 15 minute ride I can only say to myself, "WHAT the hell was I thinking?"

I was having a pretty good hair day and here comes Nancy with a helmet. So much for the wind blowing through my hair. She finally gets it fitted on me and George made some adjustments on this thing that must weigh 15 pounds!

Before I go any further let me explain that the last time I was on a two wheeled vehicle, other than my bicycle, it was back in the late 50's when I was five years old. Possibly four. My Uncle Dick had a Cushman scooter where I stood on the floor in front of him and held on to the handle bars in front of me. He would take me on rides around the small town he lived in and we probably didn't go over 10 miles an hour but I thought we were flying! Of course top speed for this little scooter was 40 mph as it was! I don't think it had more than pumped up lawnmower engine in it.

So here I am, ready to get on this, in my eyes, a monster of a bike. George got on first and then I hopped on.

This is good! This is fun! Then I realized he hadn't even turned the key yet. Take note in the picture above I am hanging onto the built in handles on either side of the "passenger seat".

So we start off nice and easy around the park so we could go by our place so Bob could the take picture. Then we were off! Still nice and easy going towards the exit of the park. We made a left out of the park and then all hell broke loose! I could see over George's shoulder and I watched the speedometer climb. 10, 15, 20, 25....we were in a neighborhood, this was good. Oh yeah, I may have helmut hair when this done but this speed is just fine with me.

And then......

We made a left out on a major road around here, not a superhighway by any stretch of the imagination but a busy two lane road nonetheless. I think we did 0 to 60 in two and half seconds. Sixty miles an hour! Yo George, did you forget I'm back here???? Oh. My. God. I saw my life flash before eyes,,,,three times!

So we're zooming down the road, telephone poles flying by faster than I care to remember. And we keep going, and going, and going. I thought we were going for a short ride not a cross country trek!

I'm hanging on for all I'm worth. Oh NO! There's something in the road and we're going to hit it! Oh wait, its a shadow from a telephone pole, nevermind, we're cool.

We finally turned around, I'm looking at landmarks as they whiz past us. The Post Office, we're halfway home! We finally make the turn that will take us back into the neighborhood near our park. Back down to 25 miles an hour, I quit clenching my jaw.

I don't like turns! George told me in the beginning to lean when he did and I was so afraid we were going to just fall down.

OK, we're home. We pull into the cycle's parking place and George hops off. I just sat there. Laughing hysterically. It was either laugh or sob. Nancy comes out to see how the ride went, her neighbor comes over because she heard me, and my friend Donna stopped as she walked by. They all look at me expectantly, wondering why I'm not getting off the bike. I couldn't. I couldn't let go of the handles. My fingers were frozen in place. Not because I was cold, they were just frozen in place. Somehow, some way, they thought this was amusing. I could not unclench my fingers from around the handles! I looked down at one point and my knuckles were as white as brand new white sheets! Nancy had to literally unwrap my fingers and as soon as they were free they immediately went back into the position they held when I was hanging on for dear life. After about 5 or 6 minutes I finally able to get off the bike.

Back on firm ground I mentally put this on my "bucket list" and marked it off real quick!

I saw George later in the day and he asked if I was ready for another ride, I told him....

NOOOOOooooooooooo!

My days as a biker babe are OVER!