Thursday, November 20, 2008

11/20/08 And the Catch Is ????

I started my day in dance class once again but I didn't make it through the first one. Today "The Next Step" started, its a more advanced line dancing class with a different teacher. The first dance was difficult at best and I thought about the fact that I never saw these dances danced at the dances we have. Wow, say that real fast five times. What that means is this.... these line dances are learned but never put to use on Friday or Saturday nights when Cactus Carl is spinning the tunes for us. They stay in the class. Are they difficult to learn? For me, yes. I can Electric Slide and Honky Tonk Stomp with the best of them but these are way over my head. Maybe if I had a reason to learn them it would be different but to put the effort into learning them to only do them one hour a week, well, my time is better spent. So off to the office I went.

As soon as the class was over we all went to the Carnaval Room to get it set up for a Health and Wellness Seminar that was scheduled. This company was providing lunch for us to eat as they made their presentation. When we first got there, and there were 60 of us who signed up, we filled out a questionnaire and we were all interested about the topics covered. Ones that this age group is dealing with every day....high cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure. That's not to say that these matters are restricted to the fifty five plus age group but I do think it is more prevalent.



Lunch was provided by Mimi's, a local restaurant that we've enjoyed several good meals in. We had roast beef sandwiches, sliced tomatoes, lettuce, cole slaw, grapes, pineapple slices, honey dew melon slices and something else but I can't remember what. Darn, I can see it in the picture but I can't make out what it is. It looks orange, but I don't recall carrots being on the table. Anyway, lunch was just delicious.


Now here is when I should have had an "AHA" moment but it went right by me. You see, I saw the bill for this lunch when I was helping the restaurant guy unload everything. When I saw that number at the bottom of the restaurants paperwork it should have immediately triggered the question as to WHY this company was spending so much money on lunch for us. I naively thought that this was a health based company and out of the goodness of their hearts were going to give us ideas and maybe some heart healthy recipes so that we can take better care of ourselves. That they would feed us at the same time so that we had something to do while they gave their presentation and told us things like lay off the bagels slathered in cream cheese and that olives are ok but not dunked in martini's! Quick, look, is STUPID stamped on my forehead?

So here we are, sucking down lunch like its our last meal enjoying our simply scrumptious noontime meal, watching the slide show with catchy little phrases like "The Whiter the Bread, the Quicker You're Dead" and hearing how distilled water is the best thing to drink because after all that's what you use in your car batteries and in your clothes iron to keep the holes unclogged. Hey great, I can drink distilled water! Ahhh,,,but you shouldn't drink it if it comes in a plastic jug, only a glass container. Well, ok, I can do that too, where do I get in glass? No answer.

Next the nice lady, Jan, spoke of the food groups. Hey, I'm in familiar territory now, I KNOW the four food groups! Meat, dairy, fruit/veggies and chocolate! Oh yeah, I'm at the top of my game now, she won't get anything past me here! How many servings of veggies should we have a day? I raised my hand, waving it wildly, yelling to myself, pick me, pick me! She didn't. Boy oh boy am I glad she didn't! I had the same answer, five. WRONG! The answer is nine. Nine servings of veggies a day? Oh please! Nine servings of chocolate I can do, but vegetables? I thought about what I eat during a typical meal and if a serving of brussel sprouts or broccoli counts as one and a baked potato counts as two.....can chives laying in a white creamy field of sour cream be considered a veggie? I thought not. Ok, I get two servings a day. We won't go into my chocolate consumption, thank you very much. So HOW does one get nine servings a day of vegetables? Juicing! She extolled the benefits of beet juice for us and I almost lost the lunch I just ate.

She had tons more information and then the catch was thrown at us. She threw the catch? Get it? She would tell us how to fix all our ills in a two hour personal interview in the comfort of our homes that had to be scheduled in the first three days of next week only! Lest we forget all the valuable information she just gave us about keeping our arteries as clear as the steam holes on the bottom of our irons of course! I threw my questionnaire away at this point. I didn't want her to have my name or my site number! Did some people get sucked into this? Oh yeah, and I'll be sure to ask THEM where to buy distilled water in a glass container!

Any Survivor watchers out there? Didn't you just love the show tonight? Was is not the coolest way Randy got kicked off?

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